BLOOM, My Word For 2015

Round pinwheel design in amber, orange and gold accented with pink.




I've chosen the word "Bloom" for the year 2015. I considered the words, "grow" or "rebuild".  Quite frankly I'm sick of feeling like I am rebuilding my life.  And grow just wasn't positive enough for me either.

The past two months I have made a great start in becoming who I want to be.  I want to continue that growth.  I want to thrive and bloom!  I know if I keep up the hard work and living my life right I will reap the rewards.  I'm not saying it will be easy.  But if I stay the course it will become easier.  Learning and instilling necessary good habits may be difficult, but once those habits are in place they will make my life much easier.  Not to mention the time it will free up.  To begin with I need to start taking better care of myself.  Physically, environmentally and mentally.  (For me mentally includes spiritually as to me they go hand in hand.)
 
Now I thought about going into more detail but I decided they will make great fodder for future blog posts.  So tomorrow I'll blog about improving my plans and goals of taking better care of myself physically.

Good Riddance 2014

Victorian oval in teal, seafoam and light purple.




2014 has been an extremely rough year for me. Physically, financially and mentally.  Let me just say reality sucks....

Physically I discovered I was a lot more exhausted than any of us (friends and family) thought.  I think we all thought after a month or so of good sleep I'd be caught up, healthy and ready to go again.  It took months.  For months I slept 12 to 14 hours a night.  Towards the end of June my body started to get into a more regular sleep pattern.  It was towards the end of October before I really started to get my energy and stamina back and to feel like myself again.


Financially I am finally (although extremely slowly) crawling out of the financial hole I've put myself in.  I was hired as a checker at one of our three local Safeway's stores at the end of June.  I still enjoy being a checker.  At this point I have volunteered for closing shifts.  I am hoping for three, eight hour shifts a week.  This leaves me most of the day to work for myself in the glass shop.  I can work in the shop and still go to work checking without any problems.  It doesn't work in reverse as I am too tired from checking to work on glass projects in the shop afterwards.

Mentally/emotionally this year has been another one from hell and ranks in the top three of the most horrible times in my adult life. I've had to give up a lot more life long dreams and expectations.   I've dealt with a lot of guilt and resentment and self hatred. Not to mention feelings of loss, inadequacy and worthlessness.  Confrontation of denial.  Who and what I thought I am was destroyed.  My foundations were thoroughly rattled.  My self confidence, self respect and self worth were left in tatters.

I have been blessed with my beloved sisters of the heart, new and old who have kept me going the past six months.  They have been there for me.  Listening, supporting and loving me. They have been an inspiration in  my darkest hours because if they survived so can I and I don't want to let them down.  They have been my anchors throughout this depressing time.  I hope they realize that.  I am so grateful for them and my sons for all their love and support.

July & August 2014

The past two months have been quite the roller coaster ride.  Extremes in every aspect of my life.  

Due to all the new and increased demands in my life and on my time I have had to make the painful decision to put my Etsy shop on vacation.  I am available through the Etsy e-mail/contact system and also on my Facebook page.  I can always do a custom listing for something one might of had their eye on!   

I started a new job as a grocery checker on July seventh.  Due to "new job" fatigue and illness I pretty much ate, slept and worked the first six weeks.  I am finally starting to get into the swing of things I think. I am feeling more energetic than I have in years.  I am getting a great work out while working and I am re-discovering how much I enjoy being a checker. (I was checker at a pet food store many years ago.) 

I am starting to learn to balance my time in the glass shop when I'm not at my checker job along with housekeeping, yard work and fixing up my garage.  My relationship shriveled up and died along with some dreams. Reality is cold, hard and brutal.  It has made me look hard at myself and I think I've learned a lot about myself.  

So for now I am learning to balance the most immediate concerns in my life.  With learning that balance I will be able to gradually add other things back into my life.  Part of this is also catching up where I left off about three years ago home and yard wise.  A good topic for another day.

Welcome 2014, Another New Year & A New Life

Here are some pictures of the necklace I made to go with the earrings that are on the top.  This lovely set I named "Dawn's Promise"  after a food friend and the fact that the colors of the dichroic glass cabochon reminded me of a morning sunrise's light glowing on our Cascade Mountains.  This set and several pairs of earrings went to a local jewelry store.  The owner has them displayed in her front window even!  And this set was sold a week before Christmas.   What a wonderful boost to my jewelry making ego.

I was convinced to quit my paper routes and did so at the end of the year.  In hindsight I am very grateful that I did quit.  This past year has really worn on me, ground me down.  I have been ill pretty much every six weeks.   And so I have not had nearly enough energy to even keep up with things let alone get ahead.  And ill health doesn't just mess with me physically, it also screws with me financially.  I'm tired-so it's easier to get a pizza or some fast food.   Too icky to work, but not tired enough to sleep means I want distractions-like a book.  Etc;, etc;   

I am so grateful to be free of this awful cycle.  I look forward to a happier and healthier new year.  To finally be able to do so many things that I need to, want to and have been putting off for far to long.  

One of these things will be a thorough housecleaning from top to bottom. Every nook crevice, cranny and storage hole included.  I will sort, give away, toss and so organize this place from top to bottom.

Another one is to eat healthier.  More cooking from scratch and meal planning. I have most of the grocery shopping done.  I do need to get a few more things, but I have already started by cooking a nice, big ham for dinner tonight.  Tomorrow night my other half will be making us ham and cheese omelettes. I've already put another two meals in the freezer, the ham bone for a nummy pot of beans and a nice chunk of ham for a ham steak meal.  I will divide up the rest of the ham slices into packages for future meals like sandwiches, omelettes, frying or what ever else I choose to do with it.

I feel so much better and healthier already.  I have so much more energy.  I believe I forgot what it was like to feel human.  


I'll write more later!  


  

Tigger

A lot has been going on around here lately and in other ways not a lot at all.  This is Tigger, he is one of our newest family members.  He has one brother and one sister.  They are now over three months old-where does that time go?

At the end of this year I will be done delivering newspapers.  I will miss it in some ways-I will miss seeing all the does, bucks and fawns along with all the other wildlife.  I will miss the peacefulness of the wee, early morning hours, sunrises on the horizon and hanging with my sons.  In many ways it has been one of the coolest jobs I've ever had.

What I won't miss is being constantly sleep deprived with reduced brain function, never having a day off and not knowing the pleasure of a good night's sleep.  Waking up enough to get started on the day and finding it already over.  Rarely getting to see family and friends.  

I found that the world runs in the day and if you work nights/early mornings the world doesn't care.  You are expected to give up your sleep to do the everyday, mundane tasks that daytime never even think twice about. 

So Many New Possibilities!

I'm not sure how many of you remember this simple pendant I made as a commission piece for a lovely lady to match her earrings.   

After my friend who makes silver jewelry returned the cab to me refusing to set it because of it's irregular surface I had to really think and improvise on this piece as I don't like making "traditional" bezels where they are backed with sheet metal. 

 Why?  Mainly because of the grinding, sanding, polishing and buffing required to finish it.  Without a proper ventilation system I won't set up the Genie for this.  I can do it with a rotary tool, BUT  working on that small of scale takes forever and I don't have the patience for it.  Also I really wasn't all that happy with the few pieces I have previously set.

After a bit I had the brilliant idea to use flattened wire shaped to fit the bezel and solder them to the bezel back. It worked wonderfully.   Simple, easy and so little finish work to get it shaped and shiny.

Since then I have discovered paste solder which I love as it allows me to precisely place and control the amount of solder I want.  

I have finished my first pair of earrings this way and am finishing up a similar necklace.   And another pair of earrings.

As time passes I see more and more ways I can design and create beautiful jewelry.  So many possibilities have opened up for me creation wise!

Three Day Weekend

I took a mandatory, necessary three day weekend.  I "took" Saturday, Sunday and Monday off due to a nasty head cold.  Bottom pictures shows me napping with Noa and Brutus prior to the weekend.  This cold left me exhausted and achy-of course. As  much as I wish I could of slept through the whole thing I can't spend that much time lying down.  Also my whole head ached less sitting up.

So to keep myself awake and upright I made earrings while I hid out in my bedroom.  I enjoyed my time hiding and feel like I had a sort of mini-vacation.   I left the housecleaning, cooking etc; to others along with refusing to worry or stress about anything.  Boy it was nice and rather refreshing too!

On Friday I finished last week's WIP pair of earrings.  (top picture)  I LOVE how oxidizing them dark makes the dichroic glass cabochons come alive, they seem to glow.  Did I mention I've started a similar necklace because of them?

Saturday I started on the Emerald Rose Gemmie Earrings.  I found the second cabochon in my stash cupboard and made the frames up.  Then I realized that cab #1 was no longer in my pants pocket.

So then I started on the Peach Blush Drop Earrings.

Sunday I ended up cleaning my bedroom and locating the missing cab.  I finished both pairs of earrings in between cleaning spurts.

I still have a cluttered bedroom, but the clutter is clean again.  Bed stripped and re-made, laundry washed folded and actually put away.